Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just had sex on a roof
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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