I could make wine with my vomit
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize