so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
