i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize