Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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