do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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