Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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