Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize