This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize