Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
