kristin has been a bad kristin
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
sarcasm needs its own font
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
