Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize