then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
home. puking in laundry basket.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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