You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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