About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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