Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
