Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
