There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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