I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
