In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.