I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.