Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Let's paint friendship bongs
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"