OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You're like the curious george of whores
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism