"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?