my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
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dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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