I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
