nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
