oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
