So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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