have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
