Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
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I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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