There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
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she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
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I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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