Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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