then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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