I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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