is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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