the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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