The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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