im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
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I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
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The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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