I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
