i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
