You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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