My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize