when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
