even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
