even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize