you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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