you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize