Cold hands, warm shart.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize