she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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