I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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