She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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