the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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